We’ve been quiet these last couple days, trying out a new timeline for our escapades.
Divina has been talking to someone else on the phone. It changes every couple days. As long as she’s talking & not taking off, it’s okay. But she does encounter some weird types. Not knocking these young people, but I’ve been trying to train her on deal-breakers.
Guys who smoke, drink, and drugs… deal-breaker. She already has that standard, Thankfully! 🙏 She has always had a good heart, and looked for the best in people. It’s a refreshing quality that attracts people that have not had the advantage of attention from parents growing up. It also attracts scammers and grifters.
Several young men, who have given her the designation of GF without actually meeting her, began asking for money. A quick help me out of $25 from a young girl that has $0 income. The bastard, then told her, she sent it to the wrong email, therefore she needed to send it again. I caught her just in time. It was a bit of a lecture, to understand that asking for money is a deal-breaker!
She does not comprehend that these are intentional scams looking to take advantage of the beautiful girl with “separated” & “schizophrenia” in her profile bios.
I admit not everyone is trying to scam her, yet everyone is not capable of dealing with her situation either. It will take time to get to know a person. We don’t just get up and hop into a car with a stranger we just met online.
Now, old Divina had the sense and logic to sort this out. But this medication or this mental illness has disconnected that part of her personality. She does not have sense now.
She has love, kindness, boredom, a choir of voices & a family that loves her and she loves back. But she does not have the discretion to see any longer that it is not safe to just jet off with the unknown.
In this regard, I’ve been pursuing a guardianship to care for her. She needs someone with her a majority of the time. Confusion is easy for her.
I almost fainted at work the first time she told me she was taking the city bus to the mall. Intrepid is how I think of her now. Erratic and intrepid.
We have very brief times of mental connection where she is clear enough to want a conversation. Most questions I ask, simple or hard, are completely ignored. The Guardians have commanded that she not respond. She will look me in the eye as if to say, I want to answer you mom, but I will get in trouble if I do.
How was your day?
Did you get any sleep?
What did you have for lunch?
These were becoming very frustrating for me, due to being the most unanswered. I don’t know what else to do but wait until the guardians back off or she steps up. I haven’t had the opportunity to get any information regarding the guardians directly.
She shared very little with a therapist, but I think they shut her down with that too. We went twice in 3 months. The gentleman was much like an uncle type. She flat out asked me for a change before the 3rd appointment. When I was able to get the appointment changed over to a female therapist, she agreed to the dates, yet on the way home she said she didn’t want therapy.
I think she will do it if I just take her, but schizophrenia has some control over her mind to talk her out of things that are good for her.
So because of the disappearing act, I asked at work to come in earlier in the morning so that I’m able to take an hour lunch, since we live close to work. I simply will go home at lunchtime to have my meal with Divina. She was confused by the change at first on Wednesday, when it began. Today, I think she was looking forward to it.
I also gave her the duty of ordering lunch, since she will get Uber eats a couple of times a week, I just let her decide what’s for lunch and she can order and receive it.
It gives her something to concentrate on mentally. It also allows her to participate in caring for someone besides herself.
She needs things that will draw herself out of her mind to our reality. Without it, she will just sit in bed rocking in her cute PJ’s.
Today I asked if she bathed. She could only nod. No permission granted to answer. It’s been several days since a bath has happened. I will have to probably take the hose to her hair again this weekend. 🚿
We’ve been concentrating on building a shared vision. Something we can work towards together. She will keep me in check if I veer off course too! 🗺️
We talked about property out towards the beach, closer to the coast. The countryside out that way is very open and lovely. It’s also very expensive.
We talked about how we could manifest something of that proportion. What it would look like for us.
We decided to buckle down, the two of us. I would work my booty off the next couple of months, get my overtime, and try to find a lawyer for the guardianship. Our consult is in September. Then, when she receives her SSI, it will go into her account & she can start looking for what she wants.
After work hours, I will concentrate on spending every minute with her. Project time will have to be when she is asleep or between customers at work.
We’ll have lunch and evening to be together. Having the break in the middle of the day and expecting it, looking forward to it, she will be more stable and shouldn’t be running off in search of attention. If not, I’ll have to change jobs to something part-time.
Eddi understands this was going to happen anyway. He’s been concentrating on the guys’ immigration cases and keeping the trailer in repair. Challenges enough for anyone.
I’m kinda whipped out and didn’t even really cover anything I wanted to share for others to grasp who disruptive this is to a family. I expect there is plenty of time!
Stay Positive | Be Blessed | Share Often
LaLa👋