Monday Monday… I always hear the tune
August 26th 2024
Every morning I wake for the JOB while Divina is just barely falling asleep. I don’t really know what time she sleeps, as it’s off and on. Her DR told her to take the sleeping medicine that is prescribed but it gives Mija a headache. Like a hang over. She doesn’t want to take it, and I don’t blame her.
Our trip to the Brain 🧠 DR was fruitful. She has an EEG scheduled soon and a referral for an MRI. These two exams might hint at some of the brain trauma she had before the schizophrenia outbreak.
When Divina was in the wellness center, the attending physician noted that her first break was late in life. Most psychosis breaks happen in the early 20’s and my baby girl is 28. It suggests that it’s more than just schizophrenia going on. But of course we already knew because of the head injuries.
I will share more of her history as it becomes relevant and time permits. Having a JOB as rigorous as I’m working AND the times I need to spend with Divina in a total attention leaves me at a deficit for writing time.
We are both working so hard to accomplish so much. We really just want to be able to have our days together while creating and sharing. She is perking up each time we talk about traveling to postcard shows around the country. All she wants to do is ride, ride and ride some more.
It’s like relaxing in a lounge chair and time traveling. It’s her happy place. She tolerates the postcards and murals for my interests, and it’s the stuff that lets us hang out together. Those and the beach!🏖️
Today, we shared a very light lunch, just a couple bites of seafood salad. Then we rested our eyes while sharing the sofa for just a few minutes before I had to return to work. That is all she needs, a few quiet moments of presence with someone she cares about, to feel reality, connection, and love, with the occasional Pizza 🍕
Our Dr visits have ramped up for the end of the month and we will be busy with exams too. Hoping they are covered by the county indigent insurance plan. The primary is thru the volunteer medicine group.
Whatever it takes to help her with relief for this pain and torture, little by little. I may die in a boatload of debt, but if it helps her or anyone reading, it will definitely be worth every penny💰
She told me good night early. Hopefully she sleeps during the night. She was having some 😬 hallucinations and jolts of twitch movements that I’ve not seen before. Kind of like jumping in her own skin. But her facial expression was almost a smile. She told the Dr on Friday that those are not smiles but more a grimace. Every time she shares an explanation of what is going on inside of her compared to how it reflects outside. It’s interesting how far off are my interpretation of the events.
Both Thursday and Friday were just run run run days to get all the appointments together, but her primary did have the FMLA forms ready, without hesitation and filled out in such detail. I’m anxious to see how the psychological will fill the exact same forms out.
When you are asking for help with the FMLA forms, be sure to do your part. Have as much prepared in advance as possible. Be sure to have the patients name, as the beginning of the form was in my name to return to my employer.
I don’t know how much protection these will be, or if they will only paint a target on me for taking days off. It doesn’t matter at this point. I’ve determined in my heart and soul that any consequences of caring for my daughter, between my JOB and I, Divina comes first and only blessings can come of that! Even if it means looking for a different JOB!
I’m not looking for trouble nor to pick a fight. I just know, when my daughter was young, the divorce was hard on her to be separated and now I get to prove everyday my loyalty to her.
I live for those untamed 2 armed hugs. 🤗 Where you just hold on until she’s ready to release. It can take a few minutes. It’s not always comfortable, but it’s always worth the deep breath full of peace.
Stay Positive | Be Blessed | Share Often
LaLa 👋